How to be happier

Love the rain

It was high summer and on that day it was raining.

I’d been revelling every day in the heat. The sunshine. The creek, the beach.

Great Barrier Island

I love warm nights sleeping with just a sheet and cool mornings on the deck when you know there’s only a limited time before the heat and humidity take over again. 

I love putting a couch and table or hammock or mattress under the trees in the afternoon when the house is simply too hot to stay in.

Hammock heaven on Great Barrier Island

So when I woke up that day and the air was cooler and the sky was grey and it felt different, it wasn’t long before the first raindrops tapped loudly on the tin roof.

I frikn love that sound.

I love that it means today we stay inside and cook and nap and play cards (like the one card where everyone’s a monkey and we all fling poo at each other. Or Kittens in a blender where you have to save your kittens and blend everyone else’s. You’re welcome).

I LOVE variety.

I can revel in the new, the different, in change.

Do you revel, or complain?

My teenagers, on the other hand, can always find something to complain about.

It’s too hot. It’s too muddy. It’s too windy. It’s too quiet.

I empathise, because don’t we all feel that way sometimes?

And I can sure as hell remember being a moody, sulky teenager. I have a picture of me sulking at Disneyland to prove it.

Finding happy

But if we want to be happy, we have to find reasons to be happy.

In almost every situation we can find the good.

Find the silver lining.

Had a car accident and wrote off your car? At least everyone’s ok.

Spent $10K building a course that sold nothing when you launched it? At least the work has been done – you never need to build that course again. It’s there now, you just have to get it to the right people.

Yelled at my kids? I can be grateful that I’m big enough to apologize later and to try not to do it again.

If you want to be happier, find reasons to make you happy.

Shelly Davies

What won't happiness do?

It won’t remove the bad, the hardships, the pain, the challenges.

But it will change your perspective and that’s a powerful thing.

If a piece of work falls through, I can stress about the lost income. Or I can revel in the fact that I have a day or a week to work on something else instead. Or not work – just be kind to me.

Call me Polyanna or miss rose-coloured-glasses.

One psychometric profile I took decades ago said: “Shelly misses the warning signs.”

I sat with that for years, looking at my second marriage as evidence of its truth, until I realised that positivity is one of my SUPERPOWERS.

So me?

I love the rain.

And dude, I am HAPPY.

Want some o’ this?

Oh and by the way - I do happen to have MY VERY OWN GRATITUDE JOURNAL for sale RIGHT NOW - buy it here!

Gratitude Journal: Gratitude, Joy & Badassery by Shelly Davies