In terms of mastering your mind

Blog - Badassery

11 Feb

I’m all about how our thoughts are the only thing we can control in life.

We have the ability to decide what meaning we’ll attribute to any given thing, which then dictates its impact on us – how we feel about and respond to it.

For example

As I write this I’m facing my first ever Christmas alone. As in, completely alone. On an island. No children, no grandchildren, no Carver Boy, no siblings, cousins, nieces, nephews.

And I gotta tell you, I’m FINE with that.

I plan to go fishing. And nap. And whatever else the fuck I feel like doing. I’m good with this because I choose to be.

But,

I remember 13 years ago, going through court for parenting arrangements with my second ex-husband (aka “custody”), being told by my lawyer that I’d need to let my ex have the kids every second Christmas.

THAT MEANT EVERY SECOND CHRISTMAS ALONE. WITHOUT MY BABIES.

And I thought I would break.

I thought it was the end of the world.

Quote - Behind every scar there is an untold story of survival. Blog by Miraka Davies, motivational speaker NZ

I brought these babies into the world, and waking up to them on Christmas morning and seeing the joy on their faces as they opened presents and ate junk food for breakfast and just basked in the holiday bliss, felt like the meaning of life.

Surely I wouldn’t survive it.

Until, at some stage, probably with the help of a good psychologist, I chose to survive it.

When something bad happens, you have three choices. Blog by Miraka Davies, motivational speaker NZ

I chose to remove the “meaning of life” bit of Christmas morning as a mother, and pick another day to be our Christmas. And make that day whatever I wanted it to be – particularly a sleep-in, given that I had been sleep-deprived for about 11 years at that stage.

It was a huge lesson.

Yes, Christmas without my babies could feel like the end of the world. IF I chose that. Or it could feel completely doable if I chose THAT.